The guilt complex in psychology is a topic that is actively studied from different angles. Various research papers, articles and dissertations are devoted to her. Every person at least once in his life experienced this painful feeling, which prevents him from realizing himself as a promising person, worthy of the highest praise. A guilt complex is a condition that appears as a result of certain life circumstances. It does not allow you to feel happy, strive for great achievements. The feeling that you have done something wrong in life significantly undermines mental health and contributes to the accumulation of negative emotions.
It is often present in parents who, for one reason or another, could not make their child happy. They begin to think that nothing can be fixed. The psychology of a guilt complex is such that it only increases over time. If the situation is not resolved for the better, then the person is inclined to withdraw into himself, significantly undermining his physical and mental strength.
There are certain symptoms by which you can notice that a person is burdened with a sense of guilt. Of course, this affects his behavior, relationships with others. An individual cannot be in a constant voltage state for a long time. Sooner or later, this will lead to its consequences. Let us consider in more detail the signs of a guilt complex. They are so bright that it is simply impossible not to notice them.
Due to constant stress, a person gradually develops a state that cannot be called pleasant. It begins to undermine it from the inside, to influence the daily process of making important decisions.
Psychological discomfort contributes to the fact that the individual has to constantly suppress their interests. When we compromise our own values, we experience fear, resentment, frustration, and ongoing anxiety.
The guilt complex necessarily changes the attitude towards oneself. The personality suffers, desires and aspirations begin to be perceived as unimportant, not deserving special attention. There is a significant decrease in self-esteem. Against the background of the strong feelings that have arisen, a person begins to doubt his own capabilities. Any undertakings seem dubious to him, and the prospects are vague. This state is quite logically explained: when we feel guilty of something, then the desire to achieve something, to make certain efforts disappears.
The guilt complex, one way or another, affects our attitude. A person begins to think that nothing good awaits him in the future. Of course, this is always an exaggeration, but one cannot get rid of negative emotions too quickly. Nightmares can haunt for quite a long time, interfere with feeling happy and self-sufficient. A feeling of depression arises in response to constant overstrain of the nervous system.
Sadness and despondency become human companions. He stops noticing how he misses emerging opportunities and often gives up even before he tries to take the first step. Such a state in no way contributes to starting to engage in oneself, does not lead to development. Despondency rules the personality, only negative impressions accumulate in it. The person just starts to fade slowly. He can no longer so openly rejoice at some successful acquisitions, since he constantly looks back at his past.
The desire to please in everything
The guilt complex affects the relationship with the outside world in the most serious way. A person ceases to feel capable of great achievements, he is afraid to act in accordance with his inner convictions. He unconsciously has a desire to please everyone. This is done in order not to arouse the anger of the interlocutor, not to provoke the development of a quarrel. However, the habit of justifying other people’s expectations does not lead anyone to good. Soon, the personality loses its individuality, ceases to understand what it needs in life. This is the case when the feeling of guilt can be so overwhelmed from the inside that there will be no strength left for active action.
A child’s guilt complex often appears in response to the exorbitant demands of parents. That is why father and mother need to give up the idea of comparing their child with other children. Otherwise, the child will never learn to understand his achievements.
He will somehow cease to feel his worth, therefore, in everything he will strive to please others. Feeling insignificant is incredibly detrimental to the emotional component. As a result, self-esteem falls, the child does not want to make any efforts in order to achieve any satisfactory results. A guilt complex towards parents can also appear in adulthood if a person has not been able to successfully arrange his life. In some cases, people become so focused on despair and hopelessness that they lose sight of the prospects.
Failure to solve problems
Another sign by which one can immediately suspect that a person is tormented by a sense of guilt. He literally gives up in front of difficulties and stops fighting for better conditions. The inability to solve problems manifests itself in all areas of life: in personal relationships, at work, etc. If any unpleasant event occurs that leaves a serious imprint on the perception of reality, then the attitude towards the situation itself also changes in a negative direction.
This can include a survivor’s guilt complex when a person cannot be happy that circumstances have developed much better for him than for others. When any global incidents occur and people die as a result, the one who survived for some time experiences an insurmountable spiritual emptiness. He feels guilty for the fact that someone prematurely left this world at a time when he was more fortunate.
How to get rid of
It is obvious that the presence of feelings of guilt has a detrimental effect on the personality. Sometimes it even becomes difficult to imagine how people themselves are driving themselves into a certain framework and are afraid to get out of there. With such a discord in the soul, one can hardly count on success in life. If a person cannot overcome this state in himself, then he will hardly be able to manage his own life in the future. Let’s take a closer look at how to get rid of a guilt complex? First of all, you need to change your attitude towards life.
Understanding the causes
Nothing in our life just happens. There are reasons for everything. It is necessary to understand the reasons so as not to be in such a painful and depressing state for months and years. Perhaps in the past there was some situation that further influenced the attitude towards oneself. Being guilty of anything is a pretty serious test.
Not everyone can withstand it. It often happens that after parting in a couple, people feel a certain awkwardness in front of their own children. A guilt complex in front of a child for divorce is a fairly common situation. Some parents are ready to literally throw endless gifts at their child, just to compensate for the unpleasant feelings that he had to endure. Of course, this is not a way out. Positive changes will begin only after admitting your own mistakes.
Ability to refuse
The habit of always and in everything to agree with the interlocutor can be detrimental to self-esteem. If we get used to pleasing others at all costs, then we will necessarily lose a sense of our own worth. This happens completely unconsciously. By sacrificing yourself, it is impossible to remain content with life. Full self-realization also becomes impossible. Developing a new strategy of behavior is always difficult, but you need to try. You must learn to say no to sentences that don’t have a pleasant outlook. Think about whether there is always a need to pay attention to all the requests of your distant relatives, work colleagues or just acquaintances? If you seriously fear that people will stop communicating with you, then in vain. The self-confident is respected, but the indecisive is used. Make the right decision for yourself and you can free yourself from a heavy burden.
Realizing your worth
This is a very important acquisition that should not be underestimated. Guilt especially torments those who, for some reason, do not know how to value themselves. In constant worry, we lose a lot of creative energy that could be useful for something good. If you are used to living in criticism and simply do not know how to restructure your thinking, you will have to try. Try to look at the problem from the other side.
Believe me, you don’t have to meet all the expectations of those around you. The main thing is to find an opportunity to go about your life, to realize your own desires and aspirations. After all, it is still impossible to keep up with other people’s demands. So is it worth plaguing yourself with unnecessary suffering?
In order for the result to ultimately be positive, you need to know where to move in life. Your individual aspirations should be as clear as possible. Some people suffer from not knowing where to direct their efforts. This is a big mistake. To free yourself from the oppressive sense of guilt, it is worth delving into the process of self-realization. Always on the lookout for new opportunities, you don’t miss your chance. Respect your desires and try to follow them.
If you feel guilty about a very specific reason, think about whether you can try to change something. After all, there are no hopeless situations. It can be very helpful to look for ways to make you feel better. Some mistakes in life are quite amenable to correction. The main thing is that a person has a sincere desire to do a good deed. In this case, self-awareness, behavior and even some personal characteristics change completely. The mistakes of the past cease to dominate us when we let go of resentment and disappointment. Forgive yourself and find the strength to apologize to someone you once made suffering.
Striving to be useful
The feeling of guilt disappears where a meaningful decision is made to bring joy to others. When we, based on the best intentions, want to remain useful to loved ones, then a special meaning appears in life. Short-term failures no longer unsettle you, do not make you doubt everything in the world. A person begins to realize his own destiny, wants to create, reveal his creative potential, build trusting relationships.
Instead of a conclusion
Thus, a guilt complex is a condition that must be dealt with. If this is not done, then peace of mind is unlikely to be restored. Harmony with oneself is possible only when a person realizes his own value and strives to perform feasible tasks. There is no point in trying to please everyone, even if they are your immediate family. You must always remain yourself, maintain individuality. Unfortunately, guilt does not in any way allow you to reveal your best personal qualities, to show your abilities from the best side. This complex in psychology is described as a state that directly affects self-esteem and the way of perceiving the surrounding reality.